


welcome home

by kanabwead



Category: Mewgulf, เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heavy Angst, M/M, Poor attempt on angst, gulf is in pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29593107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanabwead/pseuds/kanabwead
Summary: Not betaread.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong, Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Original Female Character
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	welcome home

**Author's Note:**

> Not betaread.

Gulf held his phone as hard as he could, almost crushing it into pieces trying to stop himself from shivering. 

It’s been a good day for him and they just wrapped up their birthday surprise for P’Tiyanon. He’s been doing well these past three months. 

Maybe it’s the cold floor trying to freeze him up, his body shivering up in the process. Or maybe it’s the tank top exposing his arms. 

Or maybe it’s the sad and bittersweet reason why he ended up sitting on the corner of his hotel room floor in the first place. 

It’s Mew’s birthday. His beloved brother he met two years ago is now turning into the big three zero age. And he’s happy to greet him on his special day if it weren’t for certain circumstances, he could’ve surprised him like how he did last year. With a cake and balloons he especially thought of its colors and designs. 

But this is good, too. Greeting him through social media because they couldn’t be together due to a certain circumstance such as this; solo activities stopping them from spending special events together. 

And so he closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. He counted. From one to six, the odd numbers marking his inhales and the even ones his exhales. 

Cold. He feels so cold. Maybe he could tone down the AC after posting his birthday greeting, he thought. 

He leaned his head against the wall and finally opened his eyes. 

Chewing his lower lip, cautiously as to not bite it down causing it to bleed. He opened Instagram and started choosing the photos he’s even put in his Favorites so it doesn’t end up getting lost in his phone’s sea of photos. With his birthday concert photo being the only recent photo he was going to use, he didn’t bother adding it to his Favorites. Though he wishes it’ll remain recent, though. 

He carefully swept through the four special photos he chose, the last being his genuine favorite. He remembers doing an interview with Mew where the latter forgot that there were cameras around filming them and yawned with his whole mouth forming a big O shape. It quickly became the subject of funny edits within the fandom. He remembers showing it to Mew and the both of them laughed their asses off for as long as they could remember. 

And Gulf wished he didn’t remember it at this moment. Because now, he wants nothing more than to hear Mew’s laugh and presence, comforting him and reminding him that he isn’t alone cooped up inside his hotel room sitting on a cold floor that wouldn’t have been so bad if Mew was sitting beside him. 

But just like Gulf, Mew also has better things to do. 

After choosing the photos, he tapped next and paused. What’s he going to write? 

Is he going to be sappy? Of course he’ll start with a Happy Birthday. But should he add Khun Phi? Or is Phi just fine? 

Replacing his lower lip with his index finger, he started gnawing it, joining the rhythm of his gears working inside his brain. 

_ Here goes nothing.  _

“Happy birthday, my Phi. I wish P’Mew happiness and success in every path you choose. I wish for you to have fun with your work. I hope Phi will have more and more people to love you.” 

_ Pause.  _

Should he? Will it even matter? He’s sure Mew will feel it. He always does. And if he doesn’t, he makes sure Mew will feel it. 

_ “... I love you.” _

Gulf heard a loud crash. And he isn’t sure what caused that crash. What heavy thing just dropped to a solid surface to create such a loud sound he’s sure he went deaf for a few seconds? 

He looked to where the sound was and saw his phone. He picked it up and saw the message ending with the phrase that made him drop his phone. 

He read it. Again and again. And he feels the familiar constricting feeling around his throat. And before he knew it, he lost control and tears started rolling down his cheeks, placing the phone beside him. 

He’s always said this to Mew for as long as he could remember. Even before they started dating. As a brother. As a lover. As a partner. Whatever role he played in Mew’s life, he made sure to always tell him that he loved him. 

What makes it so different this time that the love he’s trying to tell him had him in tears? 

He wrapped himself in his arms and rubbed them. He curled himself into a  _ miserable  _ ball. 

Again, he said. One to six.  _ Hang in there, Gulf.  _

He didn’t know greeting Mew like this would be this hard. And he wants to come home so bad so he could tell him personally. Where he has to be aware of everyone because it’s impossible for rooms to be empty. Mew is always surrounded by people. Wherever Mew is, people follow him. And Gulf can’t wait to have a much better control of himself. 

_ Enough.  _

He licked his lips, feeling them and his throat drying up. He cleared his throat and picked up the phone again, his legs straightened up on the floor again. 

“... I love you. See you soon, Phi.” 

_ See you soon, indeed.  _

He placed his phone down gently. He feels like shit. Over a birthday greeting. 

Silence ate the room. And Gulf is self aware. He could his blood coursing through his veins, the beating of his heart beating in an abnormal place. There’s nothing but him he could hear. He could pay attention to. He wishes to hear the ticking of the clock. But he remembered how much he cursed the passage of time. 

But he just wants to count down how seconds closer he is to coming home. To be surrounded again by the sound of the city of Bangkok. And to Mew. To the sound of everything that’s Mew. 

_ Just a few more hours _ , he thought. 

He curled himself up again into a ball and closed his eyes, clutching his phone as tight as he could. 

_ Wait for me to come home.  _

* * *

“Remember to be lowkey, Nong. You’re not supposed to be here,” Gulf hears P’Best say. 

Gulf, who just woke up from his  _ miserable  _ nap, nodded. 

Seated at shotgun, he was in a daze. Just last night, he wanted to come home. He was so sure what home was. It was the noise. The city of Bangkok. 

And to Mew.  _ The sound of everything that is Mew.  _

He heard the door open and saw P’Best ducking his head. “You ready?” 

Gulf stared at Best with a look ™ , a look that his entire team remembered to take note of. 

Best clenched his eyes hard and let out a worried sigh. “Nong,” he said and opened his eyes, his stare now sharp. “We can go home. You weren’t even invited. He wouldn’t even notice if you didn’t go,” his manager told him as a matter-of-fact. 

Gulf averted his gaze and looked down at the concrete floor of the parking lot. “He’ll know I’m there if I let him see me.” he firmly said. 

Best shook his head. Gulf is stubborn, for the right and wrong reasons and there’s nothing they could do about it most of the time. And this time is one of those times.  _ For the wrong reasons.  _

Gulf looked back at the seat and saw a box wrapped in gold with a gold ribbon sitting on top of it nicely. He smiled a little, remembering the many things Mew told him he wanted to have. He chose something that he knew he could make to the best of his ability, offering his heart along with it. 

Feeling a short moment of bravery, he stuck his right foot out and unplugged his phone from the charging port of the car. He stuffed his phone inside his pocket and got out of the car, causing Best to step back a little while Gulf took the car door from his manager’s hold, closing the car himself. 

“Nong--” Best called out and what was to follow died in his mouth as he saw Gulf opening the car door, collecting the gift in his arms ignoring him. 

Gulf faced him with a blank expression, kicking the car door slightly and leaned back against it to make sure it’s shut tight. 

Best pressed the lock button on the key, the car making the lock sound reminding Gulf of his impending misery. 

“Ready?” Best asked him, carefully reading the younger’s expression.

Gulf nodded and started walking away from the car and Best without sparing the latter a glance. 

Best followed Gulf with his eyes and saw the younger stop just a few meters away from them. 

Gulf stared at the car parked just beside theirs. And he swore he could’ve kicked it if he didn’t know any better. 

He recognized that car so damn well. And he wishes that today is going to be the last day he sees it. 

After taking a good look of the car, Gulf started walking away again. 

Best started following Gulf but his curiosity got the best of him. He stopped at the exact same place Gulf stopped at to stare at the car. 

He took a good look at the car and something inside his brain snapped. 

_ So it’s ‘that car’,  _ he thought.  _ Of all places, why did it have to be beside ours?  _

Ignoring his thoughts, he started doing his job again and followed his kid. 

* * *

Gulf glanced at his watch as he obediently sat down inside Mew’s waiting room, his gift still wrapped in his arms and carefully placed on his lap. 

_ 7:30PM.  _

_ The concert should be done by now,  _ he thought. 

And like on cue, he started hearing the sound of popping confetti and cheers from people just outside the room. He knows it’s not near where he is but they were loud enough for him to hear. The concert was a success like it always has. 

Gulf heard incoming footsteps and saw Best whip his head up to look at the door, waiting for Mew and his staff’s arrival. 

And Gulf knew what his manager just did meant. So he looked around and saw the stuff occupying the room. Mirrors, make up materials, chairs, a couch, Chopper’s stroller, Mew’s mom’s handbag, two racks full of clothes, colorful shoes, Gucci, Balenciaga-- 

“Mew! Right here!” was what snapped Gulf out of his thoughts. 

And before he could feel himself whipping his head as fast as he could to meet Mew, he stopped himself. He started intently at an object he couldn’t name anymore because the gate of his emotions are about to open like a dam full of water. 

And he feels so full. So fucking full he wants to cry. Because he’s full of only one emotion. 

“Congratulations, P’Mew,” Gulf heard Best say. 

“Thank you, Phi,” Mew warmly replied, pride and happiness radiating off of his voice. 

“Nong?” Gulf heard a woman’s voice say. 

He looked up and saw Mew’s mother in front of him. 

He panicked for a bit and read her face for any sign of worry and thankfully, Gulf saw none. That just means he didn’t make a fool out of himself and started crying inside a room full of people. 

Like the best actor that he is, he smiled at Mew’s mother and stood up. 

He placed the gift on his seat and waii-ed at Mew’s mother. 

“Sawadee krub,  _ Mae,”  _ he greeted and smiled. 

Mew’s mother smiled back at him and rubbed Gulf’s shoulder. 

“I’m glad you could come, Nong. Mew wanted to see you,” she said and patted his arm. 

Before he could face Mew, he could feel a strong hand holding his elbow. And he knew. He knew whose hand it belonged to. 

“Nong?” he heard a deep voice say or rather, the owner of the hand holding his elbow say. 

Gulf smiled and looked up, finally looking at Mew. 

“Nong,” Mew uttered again, smiling at the younger. 

“Khun Phi,” Gulf said and patted the hand holding his elbow. 

The room grew quiet, everyone’s attention fixed at the two men conversing. 

“Congratulations on your concert. And happy birthday,” Gulf greeted him warmly. 

Mew was about to reply but Gulf grabbed his gift on the chair.

He extended both of his arms, giving Mew his gift. 

The side of the box hit Mew’s stomach lightly. Mew stared at it and smiled. He removed his grasp on Gulf’s elbow to receive the gift. 

“Thank you,” Mew said and held it up close to his, shaking the box like he always does when he receives a gift. 

“Can I open it here?” Mew asked the younger considerately. 

_ “P’Mew? N’Gulf?”  _

Gulf heard a female voice say. And everything Gulf wanted to say and feel died. Along with them, he died. 

“Faye,” “P’Faye,” both men said. 

Faye approached them with a big smile on her face clad in gray sweats and a white shirt, Gulf is sure belongs to Mew  _ because he’s worn it before _ , and an ID clung to her neck that said “VIP” on it. 

Upon seeing her, Mew smiled at her, his eyes forming full crescent moons with an equally big smile plastered on his face. 

As soon as Faye arrived beside Mew’s side, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder delicately, so delicate that Gulf felt it around on his own. 

“Welcome home! How was Pattaya?” Faye asked him enthusiastically. 

The couple was looking at Gulf, waiting for a response as if Mew asked the same thing, looking at him the way Faye did. 

Gulf smiled. “It was great, Phi. Pattaya was a great place. It was a bit busy but the event was great.” He said. 

Faye smiled and nodded. “I’m glad you had a blast. Me and P’Mew saw the clips from Twitter,” she said. 

Gulf’s eyes widened a little, not that wide for people to notice that his eyes changed. His fists balled up, angry. But he’s an actor. The best actor in the room, he might add amidst his anger. 

Mew wasn’t expecting to be included when he cleared his throat. 

Faye looked up at him, confused. “Right, Phi?” 

“Uh, right,” Mew answered, a tone of slight shock could be heard from his voice. 

“I see,” Gulf said dryly and wryly smiled at Mew. 

And Mew was sure Gulf was angry. Because he knew the younger enough to know. And among the people in the room, he’s the only one who knows to some extent what the younger is feeling. 

“Will you be staying, Nong?” Mew’s mother asked Gulf. 

Without breaking eye contact with Mew, “No krub, Mae. I only stopped by to give Phi his gift,” he answered politely. 

He could see from his peripheral vision that Mew’s mother was nodding. 

Being the doting mother that she is, she caressed Gulf’s arm comfortingly. 

Gulf finally faced her and waii-ed. “Thank you for inviting and letting me in, Mae,” Gulf said and waii-ed again. 

Mew’s mother cooed at him and hugged his waist. “You’re always welcome, Nong. Anything for you,” she said and squeezed him. 

“Aww, leaving so soon, Nong? There’s still an after party! We would love it if you could stay and come,” Faye said regretfully. 

Gulf bit his tongue. She isn’t mocking him, he knows. He knows that fully well. But with the situation he’s in, he thinks he’s being mocked. Because things could’ve turned out differently if it weren’t for certain circumstances. And her, being one of the said certain circumstances, was what made things turn out differently. 

“No thank you, Phi. I wouldn’t want to intrude,” he said politely. 

Gulf looked at Best with the look ™ and that was his manager’s cue to get him the fuck out of there. 

“I’ll be going now, Phi,” Gulf told Mew. “Enjoy the rest of your night. You can open your gift whenever and wherever you want to,” the former reminded the latter. 

Mew nodded. He snaked his arm out of Faye’s shoulder and grabbed Gulf’s hand, pulling him into a hug. 

“Thank you for coming, Nong. I really appreciate it,” Mew whispered and patted Gulf’s back. “And welcome home,” he added. 

Gulf reciprocated the gesture but patted Mew below his spine. “You’re welcome, Phi. Happy birthday again,” he said and tightened his hug. 

_ I love you.  _

Gulf released him first, surprising Mew but the latter knew better than to let Gulf know. But Mew knows that Gulf himself knows that he’s the last person to let go. Because Mew loves long hugs, especially if it came from Gulf. 

Flashing Mew one final smile, he gave Faye and Mew’s mother a farewell waii who was watching the two brothers sharing a good hug. 

Strategically, Best approached them and patted Gulf’s back. “Ready to leave, Nong?” he asked. 

Gulf hummed in agreement. 

Gulf started walking towards the door and waii-ed at everyone on his way out. 

“Mama, can you send Gulf off? To make sure he’s safe,” he heard Mew say.

Gulf faced the trio and was about to protest when he saw Mew’s mother already walking towards his direction. 

She reached for Gulf’s hand and held it tightly. “Come on, Nong. Your P’Mew couldn’t send you off properly himself. Will it be okay if it’s Mae who will do it instead?” 

And Gulf swore he could cry. But he held it in. He’s always been good at this. He’s just a few more moments away from being alone again. He could do this. It’s just Mew’s mom. No big deal. 

Gulf nodded. 

Mew flashed him a relieved smile. “Let’s go,” she said and led them towards the door. 

Gulf spared Mew (and Faye) one final glance and saw Mew looking at him sadly and Faye waving her goodbye to him with a smile. 

Gulf flashed the woman a smile and spared his last moment inside that room to give Mew the exact same look he gave him before whipping his head towards the direction of the door and started walking out. 

* * *

The moment they reached Gulf’s car, Mew’s mother pulled Gulf into a bone crushing hug. 

And everything Gulf tried holding in crashed down on him and before he knew it, Mew’s mother was rubbing his back furiously to comfort the crying man. 

“It’s okay, Nong. It’s okay,” Mew’s mother consoled him. 

“Mae,” Gulf cried out, his voice cracking from how broken he was, desperate for any comfort. And Mew’s mother who knew him as well as his own mother gave that to him. 

Gulf felt his shoulder getting wet. He leaned back and saw Mew’s mother crying. 

Before he could wipe her tears, Mew’s mother beat him to it and wiped them with her thumb. 

Gulf started sobbing again. He lowered his head and sniffed, broken cries kept leaving his mouth. 

After composing herself, Mew’s mother reached for Gulf’s hands and held them. “Mew loved you a lot and I know that you know. Everyone inside that room knew,” 

Gulf, with his head still down, nodded. He couldn’t find it in himself to face Mew’s mother despite the latter showing her that whatever face he could muster, she'd accept it. 

Best rubbed Gulf’s back. He knew nothing, not even anyone, could ease the pain his kid was feeling. And all they could do was to sit back and wait, to watch Gulf pick his pieces up reluctantly only to drop them again when he loses the courage to go on. 

It’s a pity, really. But it is what it is. 

The pair heard the sound of the car beeping. Best already pressed the unlock button. 

Gulf looked up and looked back at Mew’s mother who was sniffling. 

“Time to go, Nong,” she said and caressed Gulf’s hands with the pads of her thumbs. 

Gulf exhaled a shaky breath and nodded. “Thank you krub, Mae,” he said. 

Mew’s mother let go of his hands and nodded back. “Get back home safely, Nong, I’ll ring your mother up to tell her you’re on your way home,” she said. 

Gulf nodded. 

“Welcome home,” Mew’s mother added. 

Gulf smiled at her and waii-ed at Mew’s mother again while Best opened the car door for him. 

The pair separated and waved their goodbyes at each other. 

Gulf entered the car and slammed the door. He looked outside the window and waited for Mew’s mother to enter the building again before lowering his head down. He put both of his palms on his face, covering his entire face and continued sobbing. Best was already seated at the driver’s seat and the engine was on. 

“Nong?” Best called out. 

Gulf looked up with his tear-stricken face and looked at his manager, his broken voice hummed a reply. 

“Welcome home,” Best said and smiled at him sadly. 

Just when he thought he couldn’t get any more broken than this, he covered his face again and cried. 

Gulf was already wailing, too wrecked to keep himself quiet. 

Best turned the engine off. He couldn’t keep it in anymore and took Gulf in his arms, pools of tears forming in his eyes but careful not to let the younger one know he’s emotional, too. 

“You did your best, Nong. And that’s what matters,” Best told Gulf. 

Gulf clenched his eyes shut and nodded. 

After a few moments, Best let Gulf go. 

The younger fell asleep in his arms, exhausted from too much crying. 

Best carefully placed the younger back on his seat and started the engine again, ready to go home. 

He glanced at the younger’s sleeping face one last time and pulled the lever. 

_ Time to go home.  _

**Author's Note:**

> This was a spur of a moment thing. I was wallowing in my emotions so I apologize if it's not good. 
> 
> Consider giving kudos and a comment if you liked it, thought. Thank you! 'Til next time.


End file.
